“I am too fat.”
“I am too skinny.”
“I am too short.”
“I am too tall…”
My friend Google says that, approximately 53% of girls and women are unhappy with their bodies. Fifty-three percent! And that is the lowest estimate. The highest estimate places that number at around 91% of female population.
I have been in such situation far too many times so I understand more than enough why is that.
One of my best friends is a stunningly beautiful blond girl with the body of a goddess, green eyes and an enchanting smile. From my point of view, she has it all. Being a middle height brunette with more curves than I desired, I wanted to be a tall skinny blonde. I wanted to become my friend who, apart from being beautiful, had a sweet, calm and charming personality. I was very unhappy when I looked in the mirror. I was hoping for some kind of miracle that would transform that olive skin girl in the mirror into slender, fragile, platinum blond beauty.
So you can imagine my shock, when one day my friend – that perfect blond girl – looked at me and sighed:
“I wish I were like you.”
That was so surprising. I thought to myself, “You mean this perfect, stunning blond beauty sees something worthy in me that she would want for herself?
This is only one example of the common mistakes that we women make in relation to our own body – we always want to become somebody else. That girl on the front page of Vogue, or another one that has features we have always desired…And, yes, ladies, this is almost exclusively our problem. Men from some reason don’t suffer this disease that can be also called “I always want to be somebody else rather than me…”
There is already a lot of unhealthy influence from fashion magazines that are forcing a sick ideal of beauty on us, yet we are adding to that stress.
I resented my own body for several years without the slightest awareness that this is part of a destructive cycle of behavior.
We are all beautiful. My yoga teacher used to say: “Regardless of how big of an area you occupy, you are beautiful.” Regardless of your weight, height, skin complexion, acknowledging that fact will already make you feel better, because you know what? We are all beautiful in our own way. I can assure you that if you meet that supermodel from the newest Vogue front page in her daily life, without tons of makeup and Photoshop help, she would look like a very ordinary human being. Just like you and me. And maybe – she would be in contrary be unhappy about how skinny she is. Who knows.
We are unique. Don’t try to become anybody else, not your friend, not that pretty girl on the Vogue front page. You, yourself are an amazing, unique human being. If you ever try to become anybody else, you are neglecting the beauty of your own being. Be you. Nobody in your own life is as beautiful as you are. Appreciate your body, nourish your soul.
Beauty comes from within. We have all met people whose beauty is really just skin-deep. They are very pretty, yet when we talk to them we realize that we would rather keep them at arm’s length. In fact, I have held ice cubes that were warmer than some of the prettiest people I have met. Beauty lies within and recognizing it begins with how we approach ourselves, our lives. Your facial features can be stunningly ideal, but if that beauty is not reflected in your behavior and attitude then it is of no lasting value.
Don’t complain. Stop complaining about your own body. Actually, stop complaining about everything in general – that will be helpful, too. If you are not happy with the way you look, do something; but don’t complain. Complaining creates a lot of negative vibrations and your body will soon feel neglected. In an extreme cases, these negative feelings can lead to illness. Besides, complaining always leaves a bitter taste in your own mouth.
You are enough. This paragraph is for those who fear that they never do enough, even though they have done as much as they could. These could be people who exercise every day and count every single calorie in their food, or those who are never satisfied with themselves. Okay, we do have to set our own goals and aim to be better every single day; but if you managed to run “only three miles” instead of five, don’t castigate yourself. Three miles is enough. You are enough. Three miles is better than nothing … and yes, next time you can run five miles if your mind and your heart want it. Say thank you to your body for not letting you down for those three miles. Your body will reward you sooner than you think.
You deserve it. If you crave that desert after lunch, go for it. But don’t sprinkle every bite with remorse. Enjoy yourself. It is okay to have a cake and ENJOY IT. Sining is fine, if it is not too often and is not harming your health. But if sining, make it worthy too:).
Listen to your body. I said it already – your body is the greatest advisor you can ever have. If you are happy, your body is happy with you. If something is wrong, you will get a lot of warning signs from your body. Listen to your body carefully and appreciate the messages you will get. Act upon them.
We all want what we don’t have. The grass on the other side is always greener. It is always tempting to taste what we cannot have. That is human nature, and that’s okay. When you are in the mood of telling yourself, “I want to be like someone else is,” look in the mirror. Do you see? You are beautiful. You only want to be someone else because you can’t have it. Clear? Good. Now, let’s move on.
Love yourself. The relationship you have with yourself will be reflected in all your relationships. (I will be talking about this in more detail in my next articles). You should be aware of how you treat yourself because that is how the world will see you. You can hardly expect anybody to love you if you lack love for yourself. World will give you only the reflection of what is within you already. Therefore, please, for your own sake, love yourself dearly.
Spoil yourself. Like, really, spoil yourself. Be good to yourself, especially if your life is not going well. A good friend of mine always goes for a nice spa treat when he is in any kind of difficult situation. “I have to send a message to my body that I’m grateful for him,” he says. I agree. Even if you can’t afford a spa treatment, there are many other ways to treat yourself and send your body that message of gratitude. Have you tried proper stretching in a park? That will do, too.
Yes, there will be times in your life when you don’t feel like your best self. Maybe you gained a few pounds. Maybe you are in an unpleasant situation. Maybe you just went through a breakup. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of reasons why one you might not feel good about yourself.
But believe me when I tell you that this is where it all ends and where it all begins. Remember who you are and remember that you are beautiful and that you are enough. Everything will resolve itself and life will fall in place if only you plant that belief and have faith. Do you know why?
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL…
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Stay well, stay healthy, stay you, stay happy,